a little progress

I'm reading a book now about how to create a short story. Now, I have created many short stories in my time but like many writers, I always wonder if there is a better way to do it. The author of this book claims to have a "map." I am only partway through but what I know at this point is that I have done more introspection with this process than I have done in my writing previously. That, and there are a whole bunch of notecards that are being used.

I went through about 40 the first day. It isn't the same notecard system that Tom Bird uses but I will be interested to see where it takes me. The author also claims that by the end of the book you will have at least one short story written. He does not claim it will be submittable as he clearly states something along the lines of you will have a story written at the best level you are able to write it. Which I guess means if I am at the sucks level than that is about all I'm going to get. Either way it is good practice and has me focusing on something. It is certainly a different process than I have used before since The IDEA is always what hits me first. My last two assignments were to write at the top of 20 different notecards attributes I admire in people and then do the same for things I do not like. Tonight, my job is to fill in on each card a way to show that attribute and not just tell it. We haven't even begun to talk plot.

Tomorrow, I am set to teach my first improv class. I am excited and nervous. You never know what kind of actors are going to show up, especially in the 1st through 5th grade range. I have big plans for them though and I think they will have a blast. Now, I am off to write more notecards.  

Short bursts of inspiration

I find I am not inspired for nearly long enough to get anything done. My energy waxes on and off faster than Ralph Macho's hands. However, a good friend did read a short memoir I'd written and gave me this comment, "Beautiful, a wonderful tribute to your parents." While I did my best to appear modest and demure, inside a happyfest began with free drinks to all. The ego was the first to belly up to the bar, what a lush. This is the piece I submitted for publication. But as is often the case, there is no deadline by which I will hear whether this is accepted by them or not. I find those moments of elation that fill my motivational balloon don't sustain in the midst of all the needle wielding editors. So I guess I am going to have to fall back on hard work. The author Ann Patchett suggests setting aside one hour a day to spend on the craft or whatever it is you love and keeping a log to see if you do it. That is in keeping with the book Outliers which postulates to be successful at anything requires a certain number of hours put into practice. This was the good kick in the pants I got today. 

The not so good one involved my fashion choices and my son. I admit I often eschew conventional sleepwear in favor of a soft cotton t-shirt. But I don't think that occurs so often that when I headed out the door wearing a t-shirt (that yes I might have slept in a few times) and a pair of shorts that my six-year old needed to say, "Mom, I don't know if they will let you in wearing pajamas." While I did not go in and change, I did think on that a bit. And now I wonder, is it that I usually dress up more to go out or that I need to start wearing real pajamas? Ah, the microscope we live under when children are around. Not sure I'd exactly call it refreshing. 

The Winds of Change

You may have noticed a new name at the top of this blog. If not, please direct your eyes to the top of the page and spend a moment taking it in. Are you back? Now we can go on to the explanation. While the previous title certainly described the life I lived while creating this blog, the Cancer and Alzheimer's portion are no longer present. Don't get me wrong, they left their marks, indelible wounds on my psyche and soul but I sincerely hope and pray those two offenders do not make it back into the cycle of this life (you are welcome to add this to your prayer list too).

Kicks in the pants (KITPs), on the other hand, are part of everyone's life. I plan to tell you about the kicks I get and I'd welcome some comments about the kicks you are getting too. Since it is my blog, I'll start. In juggling motherhood, wifehood, teaching, and writing, some balls get dropped. I have two children. The elder has learned to remind me, often in an annoying fashion, to sign her up for the activities she wishes to participate in. The younger has a sweet, trusting spirit that believes he only needs to ask his mother for something and she will come through every time. Well, this summer, my son's only request was to play baseball. I saw the sign-up sign and put it in my mental agenda. Turns out I read the sign wrong and missed the deadline.

This was a two-fold offense because not only had I let him down but it was so totally my error and I hate being wrong. When I told him, hoping it would be one of those moments that he would shrug off, my son cried to the point of running to his room and burying his head. Then I called him out and while apologizing my behind off cried as well. It wasn't intended to be manipulative but I have to admit to feeling some relief when my observable misery softened his a bit. This one has a nice ending for him since a friend of mine found another league (30 min away) that he can still play in. I figure the drive is my nice KITPs natural consequence. So any kicks coming your way?

A New Hobby

I figured it was time to give up my most recent hobby of crying because I miss my parents and try to find something else. I mentioned Jiu Jitsu in my last post, it is an hour of twisting, turning, body contorting, power-building umph. I have yet to get bored in a class and as a plus have lost five pounds. You may wonder what does this have to do with the blog title and I'll tell you. It would be that this type of martial art is kicking me in the pants. I have mat burns on my knees and sometimes a crick in my neck but it is the only place I feel at peace. I think maybe it takes so much of my focus that I can't worry about anything else. 

Today, Mom would have been 73, instead she is forever young in the heavenlies but I do miss her here. I wonder what she would think of this new hobby of mine and then I know. She would roll her eyes and give me a half smile to let me know that while she wouldn't want to do it, she'd come see me if I wanted to compete. Not that I will compete. In fact, I feel like a freshman again with all that I don't know. So far I have learned how to submit an opponent from a standing position, flip them over my head if they are sitting on me, and put a choke hold on that left me coughing when my partner did it to me (I didn't tap out soon enough). I will say I prefer the female partners since I almost didn't keep a straight face the first time a guy laid on the floor in front of me, tapped his chest, and said, "Mount me." 

Now, I find myself saying it to other people. It's a whole new vocab. Speaking of vocab as a really poor way of segueing to writing, I still have not heard from the Chicken Soup for the Soul folks. Neither have I begun anything new. A writer friend of mine, Rusty Webb, just put one of his novelettes up for the Kindle. Since Jeff just bought a tablet, I downloaded it tonight. I am thinking about putting some of my stuff up there as well. I'll have to find guidelines somewhere. I am going to read Rusty's story now and would highly recommend it (even without reading it) to anyone who enjoys either westerns or sci-fi because I know he is a solid writer and it is a steal right now at $.99 for the Kindle.  

Retraction of a sort

As I said before, I loved the book "The Hunger Games." However, I did not like the third book in the series at all. Depressing is how I'd term it even though technically it had a happy ending. So reader beware it is not trumpets and triumph. As for my own writing, I have submitted a short to one of the Chicken Soup books so we will see if it gets accepted or not. I'm just relieved I finally finished something again. There is a novel waiting to be finished that I am looking forward to getting to. I say that as if the time is going to just appear without me marking out time and making it happen. Do I accept that my house is going to be a mess forever if I give myself a chance to do the writing? There are so many things competing for my time including the grieving that is still hitting arbitrairly. I'm not sure if I told you guys that I have started taking jiu jitsu. I'm happy when I'm there maybe because I'm focusing on learning something new.

Books as a lifeline

I would like to jump on the bandwagon here and highly recommend "The Hunger Game." I got caught up in it immediately and read it through like I haven't since my first read of the Harry Potter books or Twilight series. Anyone who enjoyed my short story "Third Trial" will like this story. Not to compare the two in the sense that one is a novel and incredibly successful and not written by me. The other is a short story, published in a little known anthology, and yes, written by me. It is the anthology that there is a link to on this blog because that is by far the crowd favorite in stories I've written. Not my Mom's favorite but I never could glean which one was. Maybe the other story that is in that book about Alzheimer's.

But "The Hunger Game" is the same type dystopia (as an editor called my story in a not so flattering way). It is also the kind of sci-fi that feels very reachable. I think there is almost nothing I love more than a book that demands to be finished. If only I wrote books that demanded finishing instead of lazing around on my hard drive, the characters perfectly happy to nap the day away if I will just leave them alone. Then I read a book I love, like this one, and it makes me want to go over and shake them awake. My dream has always been to be able to write books that will make people feel the way I feel when a story sweeps me away. No matter what a person's life circumstances are they can escape them for a time. I wonder if part of the reason I loved this book so much is that I feel like I am in the midst of my own survivor story. Certainly, the stakes are not nearly as high as they were for the main character but she still had to survive, wake up each day, keep breathing, and make it through.

I am in process of a much smaller endeavor right now. I want to get some thoughts down for a "chicken soup for the caregivers soul" book. I will let you guys know if I get it written and submitted. If they reject it, so be it but at least I will have put something out there. I will have woken up, kept breathing, and made it through.

Well it's only been a month

That title is my attempt to feel better about my lack of keeping up with this blog. Things are going probably about the way things go when someone has lost both their parents but has two children so can't really just sit in the corner and sob. To use a totally bad cliche' life really does go on. It is not a respector of personal trials. I think that is actually a great gift. I have not been writing but I have been doing lots of thinking which is totally progress (or at least I tell myself that).

The kids are getting ready to start school and ask me if we can return to Knoxville on a regular basis. It feels rather selfish to stay here to be with my family but I justify it with the knowledge that it is better just to stay then to leave and have something bad happen and turn around and come back.

Jeff is not sick as often living here outside of the office of germs. That being said, I think I am getting too dependent on him working from home. I'm like, "Hey, I'm going to run to the grocery store and leave the kids here, ok?" What can he say but okay but then that leaves him having to do double duty so I am trying to pull back on that.

No big news, just wanted to get an update on here before August ended.