My apologies

I ran through some titles of blogs in my Dashboard tonight and there are so many I have yet to read that look fabulous. But this is the truth. I will probably spend the first three weeks of December going back and commenting on all of those wonderful thoughts that you so generously share with the rest of us. I am as far behind as I've ever been in nano right now. Not so far that I will never catch up but so far that it will take some 5 to 6 thousand word days to reach that big 5-0 mark.

I can do it and I will do it but right now it looms large. Not to mention, I am at that point where I feel this is the most boring piece of drivel that anyone has had the audacity to actually type out. Three days ago, it was fabulous. Experience tells me it will be somewhere in the middle. So write on those wonderful blogs and I will be reading them, just not right now, or today, or this month but I promise I will come back.

And the contest winner is...

Jeff Snell of Knoxville, Tn will be getting a new book in the mail for his winning entry in my flash fiction contest. As you may recall the only rule was that the words Jackson and Central had to be included, not necessarily together. Without further ado, here is the contest winner flash fiction story.
     

 He had been outsmarted again by Jackson.  Jackson was a ten pound orange tabby cat with a black spot on his right ear.  They had been playing a game of chess earlier that quickly devolved into a fencing match.  The fencing did not go well and he stared through a locked glass door at a smiling Jackson.  The fencing sword wound was deep and he bled on the front porch as he slowly faded into sleep.

He awoke in darkness.  Floating above him was a visage of Jackson. 
     "To gain entrance into your home you must bring me a hairless mouse.  A mouse that has been raised on cat nip and sweet creme."

He knew that he would never see the inside of his home again.  He crawled off the porch and down Central Ave.  The lights in the store fronts danced and dissolved in his brain as the injury throbbed. 
There was one and only one solution.  A feline assassin. 

Cat assassins were hard to find and expensive.   Most of them were imposters or mentally ill.  Luckily, he had needed to dispose of a kitten in the past.  His kitten Spam had stolen his wife and had a brood of tiny furry babies with her. 

He pulled out his cell phone and made the call before passing out.  It was in Gods hands now.

 

Insecure Writer's Group post #`1

I love support groups, in my previous life as a psychotherapist, I used to facilitate therapeutic groups. The thing about working with people who have various types of mental illness is that you are able to recognize your own, shall we say, eccentricities. In one of the first stories I ever finished, my protagonist was thought to be a genius and he feared that everyone would at some point recognize him as a fake and a phony. The story resonated with a lot of people and at some point I realized that his fear is my own. Not that I am a genius, far from it. But in almost everything I do, especially writing, there is a fear that I am not as good as other people think I am. That I am somehow using light and mirrors to create an illusion of good. There is a name for this. It is called Impostor Syndrome. In other words, people (in this case, I) can't seem to internalize that I could actually do something well. 


Even as I crave positive feedback when I give someone a story to read, there is a part of me that almost brushes it off when I get it, in order to hear the things that need to be changed. It isn't modesty, it is a true belief that on that second reading the story they enjoyed the first time will suddenly morph into crap that they want nothing more than to wash off their hands. If I struggle with this now, who knows how out of control it will get if I actually become successful? Now, I am off to Jiu Jitsu, where the instructor told someone that I caught onto things pretty fast. I don't really believe that could be true though. 


Thank you to all who are willing to read and comment. Most of all I want to thank Alex J Cavanaugh who conceptualized and hosts The Insecure Writer's Group's. I am still trying to figure out how to get the link thing to work so I cut and pasted this one. (See, I faked that I could do it). Gulp, maybe I was a Mili Vanili in another life. 

Trivia anyone?

I've committed now and am Nanobound. One of the stories that has been kicking around in my brain will get its chance in the sun, at least 50,000 words of it anyway. This story is full of quirky character ideas I've been jotting down for about two years, residents of a small town. Anyway, one of them is named Cameron Bellows. The thing about Cameron is that he is quite socially awkward and likes to spout useless, random trivia. Things like that the romans had a room, called a vomitorium, where they would go to purge after eating so they could eat more or that when a coffee seed is planted it takes five years to yield consumable fruit. There are tons of websites that have this type of information and I have a book too.

Lydia Kang's site alone (http://lydiakang.blogspot.com/)could probably fill up most of his conversations. (Will someone tell me how to make it a link when I type someone else's name who has a blog?) A friend of mind in college used to memorize the trivial pursuit cards so that she could never lose. I had previously believed that to be somewhat of a waste of time, now I could put it to good use. I wondered if any of you have any favorites that you'd like to share? What strange facts, that you can think of no good use for, take up part of your brain?

Whew!

When I logged onto my account tonight it said I wasn't following any blogs. My heart skipped since I have just added a bunch and am enjoying them. Had everyone decided to unsubscribe me? And could they even do that? It must have been some sort of a glitch because in a few moments they all popped back up. It was strange how abandoned I felt in that short period. The crickets started chirping. However, that was not the point of my short blog this evening.

The point is the deadline date for the contest has been extended because my writer's group did not meet tonight. At this point, I'm pretty sure our next meeting date will be in November so I am extending the deadline to Halloween. If you want a chance to win a great book for free, spend a few moments and send your entry on in. Make me proud, writer peeps. Reminder-maximum length 500 words, use the words Jackson and Central, in any context. They don't have to be together.

Two days and counting

We have two days left for people to enter the contest outlined in the post "Drumroll, Please," to win a copy of Jackson and Central-An Anthology. I hope to get a few more entries. I'd really like to see some Halloween ones or Thanksgiving..

I may have to enter it myself since I've realized I no longer have a personal copy of the book. No, don't worry that is against my ethics. But I really would like to re-read so will have to get myself one too. I have had three copies that were mine since it came out. Each time I have lent them out only to never get them back. I don't even remember who has them now. Perhaps, they were all people who thought I ought to have given them a copy in the first place? I think it is always hard when promoting in terms of people you know. Especially, people who aren't familiar with the publishing industry. I wish we got  a whole bunch of free books but the kind with a cover cost money. We got a discount. So I gave copies to immediate family and a few people who were beta readers but mostly I just encouraged people to buy them.

I think it was easier with that book because it was an anthology that I loved. So, even if Joe Schmo hated my stories there were some in there that I knew he would like. I wonder how that will work if I ever do get a novel published. So far, all my published work has been joined together with other writers so a sale for them was a sale for me. It was easier to market when I didn't feel so much like it was completely on the worth of my work. Knowing how I can not read a story of mine without wanting to make a few changes, EVERY TIME, will I ever get to a point where I think it is great enough to really push it to the people?

I know publishing has changed. The author is responsible for so much marketing now. I have a hard time even asking people to sign up as followers for my blog. Does that ever change or do you just push through?

Quantity versus Quality

You still have five days to get in an entry to the contest. Don't stress too much about it. You could even consider it a mini-nano to get you in the mood. One entry came from someone's i-phone and I have to admit, it wasn't too shabby. I mean, check it for spelling, but even something not done to perfection gives you a better chance of winning than not submitting at all. I just like seeing people's creativity.

There are Nanwrimo rumblings on some of the blogs I am visiting. I have yet to offically sign up because I am a competitive individual and if I sign up, I will finish. So, do I want to commit?  I have completed it four times now and only done something with one of the projects. The something I did was clean it up, get some critiques, re-write, get more critiques, re-write, collect bucoos of rejection letters from agents, re-write and then get some more rejections. The fifty plus versions of it still clutter my hard drive. I don't know if I will ever approach that novel again. Although, I still love the concept, the idea of going back to it again is wearying.

So, I wonder, if nano is worth my time? Clearly, finishing, for me, doesn't translate into turning out something publishable. The only things of mine that have been published have been articles or short stories. I know I love doing it. I allow writing to be in first place for that one month and there is a feeling of accomplishment when I print out my certificate. Yes, I do print it out. I also usually find how easy it is to crank out 2,000 words a day and still get my responsiblities completed. Then, at the end of that time, I slowly move back into the hit or miss writing habits I had before.

Who am I kidding? I know the fact that I am considering it means I will be jumping into the heady love affair with words again. Maybe it is like relationships, at some point, one of them stuck.