Hello, my name is Nancy and I am a plant killer

This is not Murder One by any means but all plants that I own will eventually die. It is a rule. In fact, I think it fortunate my pets and children let me know when they need water and food or they, too, might be in for an early demise. Some of the plants in my home have not yet expire, they are, as Miracle Max in the Princess Bride would say, only mostly dead. I do wonder why I keep bringing these leafy victims into my home. Is there a sadistic side to me that is only expressed in this way?

Peace lillies seem to last the longest as they droop their leaves when they need water but I have no long term hope for them.  I have kept one from each of my parents funerals in the land of the living, if at times gasping for water. Speaking of land of the living, I can recommend a good zombie novel, Feed by Mira Grant. It was a Hugo nominee. Not too shabby for a zombie tale. I wonder if there is any market for zombie plants? I think I may have some here.