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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Is there such a thing as Writer's Block?

I never thought so in my past. Whenever the conversation came up I would confidently answer, "it is just a matter of sitting down and making yourself write." Technically, that is still true. I can sit down and type out words on this keyboard. However, the type of block I am experiencing is the ideas. I have always had idea after idea competing in my brain for which one gets told. This is one of the reasons I have about fifty half-told stories on my  hard drive. Another idea comes along and I follow it to it's beginning and then get distracted by another-you get the point. Anyway, since Mom's illness, I don't think any new ideas have hit my brain. It is like a big steel door has been implanted in my subconscious and when I try to visit the idea factory, I am barred.

You might think this is no big deal- so don't write, move on, do something else. I guess I could do that. But there is this feeling of loss. My ideas were what my mind turned to whenever I had open time. Standing in the shower, driving, walking the dog, these times were creative birthing and refining moments. Now, there is nothing there. I don't know if it will come back someday or not. It almost feels like I've lost part of who I am. This is one of the reasons I stopped blogging for a couple of weeks. I thought maybe that writing on here kept me from thinking up other things. But really that makes no sense because I always had other things to do and had to make time for the stories. I have also tried leaving the keyboard and have begun writing in a notebook. Still, I am not inspired. So for now, I guess I will sit down and make myself write sometimes or maybe I won't. Either way, it is a strange world with no new ideas pouring into my brain.

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