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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I'm Back

Whew, just under the wire, I got my 50,000 words done tonight so I can get back to real life. I had hoped to be able to identify some kind of doable routine but that didn't happen. Can't wait to see what you all have been up to. This has been my month in short:

write-started strong the first week, fell off greatly after that

kids-actually heard about nanowrimo so much they started asking how many words I had done

school-for some reason my volunteer positions seemed to expect me still to show up, hmmm

karate (should be testing for black belt soon)

jiu jitsu (got to start rolling so have mat burns on my elbow and top of foot but it was a blast)

more writing

trip to Knoxville to go wedding dress shopping with a friend. She and her husband-to-be are both in their 50's and this is a first wedding for them both. Love it. They will marry on New Year's Eve. This task relieved me because I was afraid I had entered the funeral phase of my life. You know there are the phases of life in social events-graduations, engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, and then the funerals start. I guess there are retirement parties but I haven't gotten there yet.

auditioned for a movie-didn't get cast but it was fun

Thanksgiving- I got up that morning and was cooking slamming things around in the kitchen. My husband came into the kitchen and I said, "I am in such a bad mood. I just want to snap someone's head off." Instead of running off screaming while protecting his neck, he reminded me that this was the first Thanksgiving without my mom or dad which sent me bawling but did remove the risk of someone's head being removed.

really got to writing and finally hit that 50,000+. Hats off to all of you who also did your writing time this month and probably managed your blog much better. Now, off to try to catch up on what I missed.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

et tu-me?

There seems to be some sort of conspiracy occuring in those I know in that they all want to see and visit with me this month. The month that I pledged to give all my free time to writing. I am just beyond 25k which will allow me to finish but without the nice cushion I had envisioned.

 It doesn't help that I keep scheduling things on top of other things. This last Monday I scheduled a Physical Therapy appointment, working in the church library, and a jiu jitsu class all in the same two hour span. Needless to say, a couple of those things didn't get done. I have also been intrigued by an film audition notice I got and am going to travel on friday to audtion. Not a big film, no stars, no real budget to speak of, but I still have signed up because I seem to be doing the best I can to fill all my available free time. 

The thing about all that is I will finish. If I have to stay up all night toward the end I will but it would be so much simplier to do it in a measured pace the first time. I feel like I'm back in high school putting off the end of semester project. I thought I had grown beyond that.

Good luck to all of you doing Nano! I look forward to reading your posts again. I keep reading the little blurbs on my dashboard and wanting to begin reading through immediately. I guess internet is the one distraction I haven't allowed myself. Well, unless you count right now.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

My apologies

I ran through some titles of blogs in my Dashboard tonight and there are so many I have yet to read that look fabulous. But this is the truth. I will probably spend the first three weeks of December going back and commenting on all of those wonderful thoughts that you so generously share with the rest of us. I am as far behind as I've ever been in nano right now. Not so far that I will never catch up but so far that it will take some 5 to 6 thousand word days to reach that big 5-0 mark.

I can do it and I will do it but right now it looms large. Not to mention, I am at that point where I feel this is the most boring piece of drivel that anyone has had the audacity to actually type out. Three days ago, it was fabulous. Experience tells me it will be somewhere in the middle. So write on those wonderful blogs and I will be reading them, just not right now, or today, or this month but I promise I will come back.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

And the contest winner is...

Jeff Snell of Knoxville, Tn will be getting a new book in the mail for his winning entry in my flash fiction contest. As you may recall the only rule was that the words Jackson and Central had to be included, not necessarily together. Without further ado, here is the contest winner flash fiction story.

 He had been outsmarted again by Jackson.  Jackson was a ten pound orange tabby cat with a black spot on his right ear.  They had been playing a game of chess earlier that quickly devolved into a fencing match.  The fencing did not go well and he stared through a locked glass door at a smiling Jackson.  The fencing sword wound was deep and he bled on the front porch as he slowly faded into sleep.

He awoke in darkness.  Floating above him was a visage of Jackson. 
     "To gain entrance into your home you must bring me a hairless mouse.  A mouse that has been raised on cat nip and sweet creme."

He knew that he would never see the inside of his home again.  He crawled off the porch and down Central Ave.  The lights in the store fronts danced and dissolved in his brain as the injury throbbed. 
There was one and only one solution.  A feline assassin. 

Cat assassins were hard to find and expensive.   Most of them were imposters or mentally ill.  Luckily, he had needed to dispose of a kitten in the past.  His kitten Spam had stolen his wife and had a brood of tiny furry babies with her. 

He pulled out his cell phone and made the call before passing out.  It was in Gods hands now.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Insecure Writer's Group post #`1

I love support groups, in my previous life as a psychotherapist, I used to facilitate therapeutic groups. The thing about working with people who have various types of mental illness is that you are able to recognize your own, shall we say, eccentricities. In one of the first stories I ever finished, my protagonist was thought to be a genius and he feared that everyone would at some point recognize him as a fake and a phony. The story resonated with a lot of people and at some point I realized that his fear is my own. Not that I am a genius, far from it. But in almost everything I do, especially writing, there is a fear that I am not as good as other people think I am. That I am somehow using light and mirrors to create an illusion of good. There is a name for this. It is called Impostor Syndrome. In other words, people (in this case, I) can't seem to internalize that I could actually do something well. 

Even as I crave positive feedback when I give someone a story to read, there is a part of me that almost brushes it off when I get it, in order to hear the things that need to be changed. It isn't modesty, it is a true belief that on that second reading the story they enjoyed the first time will suddenly morph into crap that they want nothing more than to wash off their hands. If I struggle with this now, who knows how out of control it will get if I actually become successful? Now, I am off to Jiu Jitsu, where the instructor told someone that I caught onto things pretty fast. I don't really believe that could be true though. 

Thank you to all who are willing to read and comment. Most of all I want to thank Alex J Cavanaugh who conceptualized and hosts The Insecure Writer's Group's. I am still trying to figure out how to get the link thing to work so I cut and pasted this one. (See, I faked that I could do it). Gulp, maybe I was a Mili Vanili in another life.