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Thursday, January 27, 2011

ch-ch-changes-turn and face the strange

Today, was the first day of the Hospice medication change and so far it is a clear thumbs down. Mom is nauseated and having stomach pain. In addition, she feels woozy and unable to drive. She had a caregiver come to stay with Dad this afternoon but said she didn't need one for tonight. She added that she didn't understand why people would ever break into a pharmacy to feel the way she is feeling. She thinks the meds are too strong but her nurse said her body is just adjusting. Not sure I like the nurse's response. I guess I will have to reserve judgement until I see if Mom does indeed adjust.

I forgot to mention yesterday that since she has stopped chemo, Mom had enough hair to get a haircut. My two sisters and I went with her to the beauty shop. Her hair has come back in very dark. I thought when the hairdresser finished Mom looked great, other than the fluorescent lights which had me wondering why I hadn't put on more blush and lipstick. It is a much shorter style than Mom has every worn which I guess is why she plopped the wig back on top of her head. Although, I have to think, knowing that her hair looks fine without a wig now has to be some comfort for her. Dad joined all four of us, the three daughters, and Mom, for lunch at the Bistro downstairs in their complex. It didn't hit me until right now that I can't remember the last time the original family sat together without any husbands or children or friends attending. I wonder, with Dad moving next week, if that will have been our last meal together for just the original five. It seems like we ought to have marked it with some ceremony. Instead, Cindy and I rushed off to teach class and Sharon had to go pick up her daughter from school.

Last night, Mom had my kids over to swim since one of the perks of her place is the indoor pool. After the swimming, she went through one of the photo albums with my children (at their request) telling them about all the people and animals in the pictures. I wished I had brought the video camera since I know the memory in my brain is so faulty. The kids were up way too late last night but I couldn't bring myself to pull them away. They will have lots of time for good night's sleep but not so many to bask in their grandma's memories.

My daughter wrote her other grandparents a letter last week. We have not had contact with Jeff's parents for ten years. I assumed they would ignore the letter as they have multiple cards from Jeff and updates on the children from me. Instead, we got a phone call from his brother to relay a message. She wanted to know the motivation behind the letter. Jeff and I felt pretty speechless, there was no motivation. Jeff finally stammered out that it was probably because her Nana was dying and she wanted to reach out. His mother said she would respond to my daughter this time but not to expect further communication. Jeff seemed pretty shaky the rest of the day. The whole affair twisted my stomach in a way it hasn't moved since we were trying to have a relationship with them before. Ah, the timing of family angst. I think it could be better, I'm just saying.

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