Home Sweet Lantern

Those of you who have been reading this know that Daddy is moving to the Alzheimer's facility tomorrow called The Lantern. Today, my sisters and I made the bed, moved furniture, and hung pictures, clocks, Dad's stuffed pheasant and the like. Mom stopped by, while Dad was with a caregiver, and said that Dad just might find a girlfriend there since he'd told her that he wasn't married. She laughed about his comment. She doesn't think this will upset her. I can't imagine, if it does happen, that she won't be distressed. Even if he is gone in mind, I think I would be rather peeved if Jeff found a new girlfriend after we had been married for 52 years. Although, I guess that is better than the men who decide they want to trade for a younger model after that amount of time. Those men seem to have their minds they have just lost their good sense.

The room looked nice when we finished. We even hung, in the bathroom, his painting of a parrot that he did on a cruise he and mom took several years ago. I'm still trying to clean out here at the house in which we are living and hanging pictures here too. Even though Mom says it is our house now, that feels very awkward to me. Perhaps because so many of her things are still here. I can't quite bring myself to do too much changing. I think that would be admitting somewhere deep inside that she really isn't coming back. Intellectually, I have accepted this as a possibility, even a strong possibility, but deep inside I want my mother to be here, hugging my kids, making me crazy, and most of all loving her life. I'm not ready to let her go. I don't think I will ever be ready. But unless someone hands me a magic wand or a healing stick, I'm pretty sure I don't get a say.

On an upside, I did get to go to Ankar's Hoagies today with my sister and nephew. This restaurant has the most phenomenal steak in a sack I have ever had the pleasure to consume.  I was never able to find its equal in Knoxville. So if you are passing through, stop and grab a pita full of meat and onion deliciousness at Ankar's. Don't bother telling them Nancy sent you because they have no idea who the heck I am.