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Saturday, January 22, 2011

not so great

It has been a rough couple of days. The doctor never called on Friday so we have no confirmation that Jeff is tumor-free. However, we do take comfort in the fact that doctors rarely delay on bad news. The drive with Mom and Dad yesterday was not only tiring due to being in the car for five hours. It was also difficult to hear Daddy occasionally telling Mom how much he missed her when he couldn't touch her and to please not ever leave him. Alzheimer's has reduced my once (probably overly) proud father to such neediness. These words were especially difficult to hear in light of the plan to move him to the Alzheimer's facility at the beginning of February. Silent tears slid down Mom's cheeks every time Dad did this.

Mom is also getting worse. She is taking pain pills every day now and felt too tired to pick up her anti-nausea medication tonight. I am so glad to be able to do these things for her but it scares me that it is needed. I'm not ready for her to be gone. She told me in the car last night that she didn't expect to be around for the summer. I swallowed hard and nodded. What do you say to that?

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