Too many times life gets off track because of calamities. Then when the crisis is over we're left wondering where we were headed in the first place. For years, Jeff and I have been saying we were citizens of two cities because my family was in Chattanooga but most of our life was in Knoxville. My plan and purpose seemed clear with the private practice and volunteering at the free clinic. Then Mom got sick and everything changed. Now, we are living in Chattanooga but still miss those left behind in Knoxville. I wonder if anyone who leaves their hometown ever gets to a point where anywhere else is considered a permanent home? I am not sure where we are supposed to go from here. I don't mean in the literal sense since I'm not moving anywhere for awhile. There are still boxes that haven't been unpacked from nine months ago. I mean what is my purpose here in Chattanooga?
The Bible tells us as Christians we are citizens of two worlds, this one and the one yet to come. It is so much a part of who I am that it seems odd not to talk about it in most conversations. I experience that disconnect whenever I want to talk about God and his plans with my friends who don't. These people are valuable to me and I want to cherish my time with them not push them away or make them feel I'm preaching. At the same time, I want them to have the peace that comes with knowing who is in control of it all whether I understand it or not. The not portion of that sentence being my most common operating state. So I'm left in flux. God knows the destination but I only have a portion of the map so how will I ever know if I'm there? Maybe it will only come when I get to see Mom and Dad smiling at me, beckoning me to come and stay where they are. I guess then I will be able to kick back, sigh deeply, look over at Jesus, and say, "I'm home."
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