Thursday, March 3, 2011
I am so tired that my body feels like I am carrying extra weight across my shoulders. I think I may have written that before but don't feel like going back to check previous posts. My apologies if this one is redundant. Then again, having one parent's funeral less than two weeks after the others feels repetitive. I need to expand my vocabulary to see if there is a word that means repetitive but of an extremely tortuous task. It isn't really a sleepy tired more a desire for the last month to have been a bad dream. Tomorrow, we are having the family over here for lunch after the funeral so today was spent cleaning. Two of my friends here in Chattanooga came over to clean today, Tricia and Amy. I know I would have cleaned without them but also that I would have been so much more stressed. Instead, I felt loved. It was also wonderful to see my Knoxville girls, Ashley, Joy, Karen, and Kim. Becky was unable to attend due to breaking up a dog fight and possibly breaking her foot in the process. No one can say her life is dull. I am sad that tomorrow will be the last day we celebrate the lives of either of my parents. While I don't relish funerals, they are a way of saying 'look how great this person was and how much they will be missed.' What am I going to do to commemorate that after tomorrow. It doesn't seem conceivable that I could just go back to daily life because that life has taken a hard left and now I have to figure out this direction. Those of you who know me, realize that direction is not one of my strengths. For now, thank you for your prayers. I am still considering speaking at the funeral but don't know what I will say. Thank you to everyone who was able for coming tonight.