Or should I say get the drip since most of the day has been spent in search of a tissue. Not for the obvious reason of the losses in my life but because of seasonal allergies. I spent much of my time outside doing prop/set stuff for the play and now I am paying for it. Nyquil is my new friend. Even more so as it now comes in a delectable cherry-vanilla flavor. Much more palatable. Speaking of drips, the brown spray paint that I used today clogged and now my right hand is painted brown on my middle and ring fingers. At dinner, Christopher looked at my hand, made a disgusted face and said, "What is on your hand?"
I must admit it does look bad and I have tried all manner of things to get it off barring skinning myself. There is brown under my nails and all in my nail beds. To make matters worse I'm going to a new friend's house for dinner tomorrow night. I wonder how odd they would think it if I wore white kid gloves. Maybe I could pretend they are back in style? Somehow, I don't think I could pull it off.
I didn't think I was having much grief stuff today until I told Jeff, "You know I really miss Mom." Just uttering the sentence made me begin to cry. I guess denial has a heavier hand restraining my emotions than I realized. I want to call her everyday. Not because there is any particular need, just to let her know about my life and the kids. I read an excerpt from a book about a lady who lost her Mom called "The Long Good-bye." It was beautifully written and described how I feel exactly. However, don't send me one in the mail because I don't think I'm quite ready. I'm off to bed now. I slept not at all last night so am hoping the exhaustion coupled with the Nyquil will bring me to a peaceful night. Already the scratchy throat has subsided. Go pharmaceuticals!
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