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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It just keeps coming

Went to Dad's treatment team this morning at Erlanger North. They do not anticipate any recovery for him and have suggested we get Hospice in and prepare for his death. He will have a hospital bed and a caregiver at night. It seems Dad has decided to follow Mom to her reward. My sister pointed out how unusual that was since in life, it was always Mom following Dad. The news didn't come as a shock. In fact, I think maybe I'm a bit numbed out due to dealing with Mom's passing to even really contemplate losing what is left of Dad too. Not that this numbness will keep the inevitable from occurring. Does it count as being an orphan if you are already an adult? 

Tomorrow, Sharon and I are meeting at Mom's to begin cleaning it out. Cindy began packing some things today.  One of Mom's neighbor's called me tonight and after offering her condolences asked if she could buy Mom's kitchen stuff. I told her she could have it after my sisters and I took anything that was sentimental to us. I ought to be glad to give it to her since I know she was one of the women Mom took to church regularly. I guess I am but it feels a little weird somehow. She said before moving her to Greenbriar, her son had an estate sale with all her stuff and didn't invite her. Because of this, she is missing some basic kitchen supplies. I realize I am only getting her side of the story but that sounds pretty harsh.

At some point we will look at Mom's jewelry. We'd all like to have something that was important to her. But in thinking about what that might be, have realized she didn't set much store on material things. She has some nice pieces of jewelry but none of which she wore all the time. I found her wedding band this morning. Not the diamond ring guard she has worn for the last several years but the simple, white gold band I remember her wearing when I was a child. She stopped wearing it because it grew thin on the bottom and she was afraid it would eventually break. I slipped it on my finger but didn't find it brought Mom any closer. Cindy also gave me Mom's necklace tonight. It is beautiful with three, lovely diamonds in it. I know Mom wore it a lot but I don't know the story. I could make one up. The three diamonds could represent her three daughters or it could just be she thought the piece was pretty. I can't ask her now. There are so many things left unasked. I keep looking at the necklace and playing with it as if it were some talisman to bring her to me. I still hope to see her in my dreams. Most of all I want to hear her voice.

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