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Friday, February 4, 2011

Reining it in

Mom called me this morning at nine saying she was still in bed and that it was so nice not to have to get up. Her meds continue to change which leaves her alternating between okay, dizzy, and nauseated. She is pushing for a patch instead of pills but so far Hospice hasn't jumped on board. She doesn't want me to talk to them about it either because, trust me, I asked if I could. I don't know that I could make any difference but it might be nice to try.  Then she began talking about not knowing what to do about Dad. He was waiting by the door for her last night saying he had been worried about where she was all day. She doesn't know whether it is better to go or to stay away. Nobody does. We would all love it if someone would sit us down and say, "This is what you need to do." Okay, not just anybody. We've had some whackados that did tell us what to do but it involved things that caused Mom to lose like eight pounds in a week so we opted out of that plan.

We are underwhelmed with The Lantern right now. Although Dad has been perfectly safe, they haven't been following their own schedule in terms of activities. It is hard to work visits around activities if you don't actually know what they are going to do. They also are not shaving Dad. Mom says she doesn't know what to do about church on Sunday because she isn't sure they will be able to get him ready. They had a baby shower for a staff member today during the time they were supposed to be doing singing time. Don't get me wrong, I think it is great to have a cohesive staff that does things together but I don't think those things ought to take place instead of doing things with the residents. Mom has also asked me to refrain from bringing these issues up to the staff because she doesn't want us to look difficult. I'm thinking too much more and I may just have to start playing bad cop. She or one of my sisters can be good cop but I don't want them to think we are okay with anything less than the best they can do.

Tonight, I went out with the ladies from Mom's church. It was a nice evening but not the easy flow of seasoned friends. But everyone was friendly and welcoming. Jeff had a similar experience with the men that got together so I guess that is enough for now. It really is about finding those things that are good enough right now so I can move on those things that aren't.

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