Follow by Email

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Meetings, movings, and melancholy

Beautiful white snow covered the ground this morning but didn't impede me from driving to the Lantern for our ten o'clock meeting. I was the first to arrive. They directed me to a room with cinnamon rolls and coffee already laid out. I didn't feel too hungry though. Sharon and I met with the Executive director that is leaving to have her baby, the executive director that is coming in, and the head nurse. There was some initial defensiveness on their part in that the leaving director began talking about statements the aides had written about not being able to take care of the other patients because of all the care they were having to give Daddy. They came prepared to demonstrate why they couldn't do one-on-one care. We came wanting to know why he wasn't getting the care he was supposed to get.  In the discussion, a good place was reached in which they explained some things like that Daddy had refused to change into his pajamas even when asked multiple times. And accepted responsiblity for poor communication on their end. However, Daddy can not return there unless he first goes to a geropsych unit and is stabilized on behavioral medication or unless we hire a sitter to be with him 24hrs a day. We want to decrease his agitation and hopefully help him feel comfortable so we are going to go with the psych unit. But the idea of putting my dad in there brings tears if I allow myself to think about it long enough.

Mom cried hard about Dad when we told her about the meeting but did agree it seems to be the next step. She is unable to drive due to the pain medication but her pain is controlled right now. She ate a full hamburger and french fries tonight. She has a friend spending the night. We did not want her to be alone so I offered to stay the night but she preferred her friend. She said they are having a slumber party. I took some medication over to her this evening and she didn't look so great but seemed to be enjoying herself. Daddy is still in the hospital but will probably be discharged tomorrow. They still aren't sure what happened. I talked to the hospital social worker today and she is trying to find him placement. According to the Lantern, it doesn't look so good. We will probaby have to find some people to stay with him there until he can be placed in a unit. We have to pay for sitters out of pocket because the long-term care insurance won't cover sitters since he is in an assisted living facility. We have also had sitters with him at the hospital. I did have a nice visit with him tonight. I am reading a book called, "Creating Moments of Joy," and it talked about not calling him 'dad' but by his first name and asking how old he was to establish his moment in time. Tonight he was in his early thirties so we talked about his military career and whether he would make battalian commander. We talked about his one child and tennis. His face lit when he talked about playing tennis with mom. I prayed with him before I left and he clutched my hand and with great effort pulled out words asking for healing for Mom and for God to take care of his family. I told him I loved him and he said he loved me too but I know he didn't know who I was. That was right before I left, so I walked out of the room having to wipe tears away. Tomorrow, we have to figure out what is going to happen with Daddy immediately and how much care Mom is still needing. So if any prayer warrors are reading, please pray on.


  1. Nancy my heart just breaks hearing what you are going through. So much pain all at once. I will certainly keep your whole family in my prayers.

  2. Thanks Alisa, we are still moving through it so I appreciate the support and the prayers.