Rally Time

Mom's pain finally began to abate this afternoon. She is on a patch and a drug for breakthrough pain. My sisters and I are encouraging her to get her stint checked. She has been in more pain since the last procedure than she was before. It may be the cancer, but if there is even a slight chance it isn't, I think it needs to get checked. Although, she did become very Scarlett tonight in that she said, "let's talk about that tomorrow," when I was trying to get her to agree to talk to the doctor. I have also been trying to pin down a time for her to do a video with me and got, "let's talk about that tomorrow too, okay?" What am I going to say to that? Part of me is so worried that our tomorrows are going to run out and there will be no video. My memory is too faulty. I may not remember all the questions to ask on the video but at least some of them will be there. She said she was going to go to bed early but she no longer sounded like she wanted to die. That was the thing about today, she was done. I knew it looking into her eyes. She loved us but was ready to shed this mortal coil.

Then to add to it all, my nine year old has been reading a non-fiction book about a cat named Dewey. A library adopted this cat and there were two smaller books about his exploits. The librarian ordered her the older book, well to make a long story short, after two days of rapturously describing the exploits of Dewey, today she got to the end. And at the end is where he is put to sleep because of a tumor. Her teacher emailed me because Kelsey was crying in class. To my great relief, she did not make the connection between Dewey and her beloved grandmother which was the fear eating at my gut the entire time I sat in the pick-up line.

We went back to see Dad tonight. He had not been bathed and when I brought it up they asked if Mom had done it yesterday. I don't know whether she did or not but I said no. They are supposed to bathe him every other day, so I don't think if he got an extra one from Mom that ought to make any difference. I am going to have to go by there tomorrow to see. Dad was agitated tonight but I couldn't understand him. It was something about not having enough money but his speech was too garbled for me to be able to get the story. I left a video running for him. I guess I better call and make sure they know to turn it off. I'm eager for my bed tonight and hope I sleep with no dreams. Goodnight all.