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Thursday, April 14, 2011

frustration

Tonight, Christopher still has a fever, Kelsey is bruised on both sides from attempting the high jump and not getting the form right, and I am still frustrated with all this estate stuff. After debating for about 15 min with Jeff, not that he disagreed with me more talking about pros and cons, I decided to compose an email to the lawyer and his assistant that we are dealing with. The potential pros of the email is a better working relationship and less frustration, since when Sharon talked to the assistant today, she said she sounded irritated. The potential cons are just more frustration. So I am posting below the email I sent. See what you guys think. On a different note, a friend of mine here who lost her mother this year also has just gotten the news that her father has spots on his lungs that have to be biopsied. My heart hurts for the fear she has to be feeling right now. Losing Mom and Dad has put me into a new perspective on loss of parents. It is like before I had kids I thought I knew what it would be like and then had kids and found out how different it was. It is the same experience with losing parents. Which is why I wish those "helping" us would be more understanding. Here is the email I sent.


Mr. Benton and Ms. Randall,
 
As much as I hoped to avoid too many face to face meetings because of the difficulty of locale, perhaps you were right and we do need to all meet. I don't know if either of you have lost your parents but it seems as if you don't understand our need to make this go as fast as possible. Every moment this drags on and every task that is related to it is like a chant of "you're having to do this because your parents are dead." There is a strong desire within me to reach the place where I can begin to figure out what "normal" life is like without my parents.  
 
In addition, there is the added pressure of knowing my mother would hate this delay since the whole reason she did a trust was to limit the amount of taxes (something she talked a lot about). Of course, as long as it is in the trust, as you know, it is in the 38% tax bracket. Not to mention the stuff that has to go through probate and now we have to do a title search too.
 
It would have been great if things had been neat and tidy and in one place as Mom seemed to think it was. However, that didn't happen. So, we are now dealing with the fallout of not only both our parents dying within two weeks of each other but all this stuff too. We are asking a lot of questions but getting different answers from you, Edward Jones, and the court so we don't even know who has the correct answer. Perhaps you believe you have communicated this clearly or just didn't realize how much we didn't know. 
 
You mentioned you believed I was a detail person and I guess you are correct because I need a list of what needs to be accomplished, what our role is (what you will and will not do), and what kind of time frame we are looking at before we can be done with this business of death.
 
Thank you for your attention to this and I'll look forward to your response.
Nancy 

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