a new waiting game

Unlike you may have feared when I did not post last night, no one has died. To my knowledge, there aren't even any illnesses current in the family. Instead, I drove to Knoxville yesterday and didn't get home until after ten so went straight to bed. I woke up this morning and remembered I forgot to blog last night.

My primary purpose in going to Knoxville was to meet with my stockbroker. She is phenominal investment advisor. After two hours with her, I felt truly educated. The downside of that two hours became the lack of time I had to spend with my friend Lou who drove across town to meet me at Earth Faire. We got to see each other face to face for about 12 min. We talked really fast, it was almost manic in its nature. She is getting married at the end of this year and truly looked glowing, the prettiest I have ever seen her. She had to rush out to get back to work.

The other reason I scheduled the meeting on Wed was to tell my girls in person that I am staying in Chattanooga. It felt a little like wanting to break up with someone but not wanting to do it by email or on the phone. I met Ashley first, at a wine bar. We tried sitting outside. The wind blew so hard that my menu smacked me in the face right after I ordered. I wondered if it was the universe punishing me for my choice. Still, she and I fell into an easy rhythm just like I'd never left. She said she'd had a feeling I was staying because in an email about being sure to save office space for me, our co-worker, who goes to my church in Knoxville indicated we might not be coming back for a while. She knew this because I let them know before the church here contacted them. I hated that she hadn't heard it from me. I didn't think about that other connection.

While many points of interest existed in our conversation, one I want to pass on is her praise of Vitamin B. She said it has made a huge difference in  how she feels. It seems that unless you are below the equator, you do not get enough and will feel better if you have more. But you have to take it in huge amounts because so much of it just goes out with the regular systems. So after our vitamin and other talk, we were joined by fabulous Joy just in time to move over to the restaurant where we were meeting everyone else at Pei Wei, the cheap counter version of P.F. Changs.

So I had to let everyone else know, hated doing that. Not for them, I mean for me. They will be great but I loved the conversation. So many nuances that I know, longtime jokes like Karen's boob job or Becky's cleaning. I miss those women, more when I'm there and am reminded what I am missing. Ashley also mentioned a book she'd read or heard about called "Heaven is real." It is about a little boy who had a near-death experience. The odd thing is I saw my previous BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) leader and after asking me how my parents were (awkward) then told me I needed to read "Heaven is Real." I found that to be a bit too much of a coincidence. So I guess I will be buying that book.

The estate stuff is dragging on. It seems it will be a minimum of nine weeks before this thing gets settled. It isn't that I'm after the proceeds, it is that every day that it isn't settled, it is like an extension of Mom and Dad's death. I can't ever get back to normal life. I don't even know what normal life will look like but I'd like to get a chance to try.