pain in the eye

While I'm quite certain it isn't a tumor and is sinus related, the recent deaths in my family have created more of a hypochondrian creature than existed in this skin previously. I say that in the sense that the pain behind my left eye has made me wonder if something else is going on. Let me be clear. It has only been for today and hopefully will be gone tomorrow.

I practiced with the church softball team for the first time tonight. Let's just say I am the weakest link. However, I am a member of the church and I do possess two chromosomal X's so I bring a couple of good things to the plate. I also did manage to make both my glove and the bat connect with the ball on more than one occasion and fortunately not at the same time. I'll consider that a victory. This will be the first team I've ever played on (with the exception of a bowling league in college) that my parents haven't attended at least one game. I guess there will be a lot of firsts like that in the next year. Like when I consulted the school schedule for next year to look at vacations and the words GRANDPARENT'S DAY leapt out at me like a school bully with a fistful of my lunch money. There are so many things I'd like to talk over with my mom. Although the first thing I would ask her is where are those papers we need to settle your estate?

This desire is not fueled by greed. I just want to be done with all this. The business side of death can be depressing indeed. Once we are done (if we ever get done) I'll be able to report back if the grief business is more or less depressing without the specter of probate hanging over my head.